


I all alone beweep my outcast state

by Singular_Echo



Series: Snapshots [4]
Category: Merchant of Venice - Shakespeare, SHAKESPEARE William - Works
Genre: Gen, Judaism
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-28
Updated: 2015-04-28
Packaged: 2018-03-26 04:17:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 309
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3836758
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Singular_Echo/pseuds/Singular_Echo
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jessica couldn't stand the smell of cooking pork.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I all alone beweep my outcast state

**Author's Note:**

> The Merchant of Venice, this time. Jessica after the play, and being a Christian. Honestly, I think I'm writing this a little bit drunk. Good luck to myself.  
> Title is from Sonnet 29 by William Shakespeare.

Growing up secluded in the Ghettos wasn't what she imagined a childhood to be like. The Christians could live in the open, they could do whatever they pleased and go wherever they wished, eat whatever they could find the money for.  
The Ideal was far from what she had lived, growing into womanhood.  
And now, now she could have all that she wanted, just the same as the people she secretly watched as a child.  
But she couldn't stand the smell of pork.  
She had all the ducats she had stolen from her father, and she had her Christian Lorenzo, who by marrying had given her exactly what she wanted.  
Jessica lived and laughed like a Christian, went to Church with her new family, and did everything she thought a Christian should do in her newly baptized life.  
She missed the smell of fresh baked challah and the soft light of the burning Menorah during Ḥanukah.  
When her new mother-in-law died, she did her best to follow her husbands example, though leaving the house the next day wrong. The funeral was beautiful, in Christian style, and she had to keep reminding herself to not tear her mourning dress, that she would not be sitting Shiva with Lorenzo's family.  
They feasted on pork at the wake, and she couldn't bare to touch any of it.  
Her father had not been kind after her mothers death, but looking back she could see the things he had done for her. His scarifies, past his selfishness, were what ensured she lived to adulthood. He took care of her, taught her how to live. He didn't teach her how to adapt, how to change. He taught her to stand proud. His teachings damned her in this new life. Jews were not meant for this. Wishes never turned out as well as one hoped for.


End file.
